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"Those guys have been frozen in ice for millions of years. Wouldn't you be a little horny?"*
Megaladong, a badfic Supernatural crossover
By![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rivestra
Warnings: Sam/Dean, giant prehistoric shark(Megaldon)/giant prehistoric octopus. NC-17. Written for Badfic Idol at Wincon ‘09. Don't say I didn't warn you. This will make ever-so slightly more sense if you were in the Roadhouse last night for the the screening of SyFy's Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (drinking probably helps too).
Dedicated to Wincon (yes, all of you), but totallyvarkelton's fault.
Dean watched the coastline through eyes slit as fine as finely shredded cheese.
Sammy watched him closely, quick stares like stabbing knives coming from the limpid pools of his eyes. Dean was pretending not to notice and then he really stopped noticing because something HUGE caught the corner of his eye and it wasn’t his little brother’s gargantuan dick.
The blanket covered that.
He words were loud , his tone incredulous, his erection suddenly waning. “Shit! Sam, I think I see what the locals are talking about out there.”
“Mmmm…?” Sam said, watching his brother’s luscious lips move, their motion blotting out the sexy echoes of his voice, blotting out the very sun above them.
Dean smacked him, and he looked up, meeting his brother’s tempestuous, storm-colored eyes. A wave crashed on the beach in front of them before Sam whispered, “Wha?” In the general direction of Dean’s ear.
Dean smacked him again (just because) and then extended his arm, thinner than Sam’s corded limbs but still well muscled, to point out toward the sea. Sammy turned his honking huge head and caught sight of the giant tentacle just as it slipped beneath the waves.
“Dean,” and now Sammy sounded like maybe he had done acid at Stanford after all, “Was that a giant tentacle?”
Dean nodded, engrossed in his relentless search of the horizon, his hand coming up to move absently on his baby brother’s engorged member, jacking Sam as relentlessly as he searched. “Yep. Just like the weird Scots/Irish/Ukrainian/whatever at the weird manure processing plant on Treasure Island said.”
“I thought…” and Sammy’s breath hitched then (Dean couldn’t tell if it was from the AWSOME hand job he was giving or if it was because of the twenty-foot-tall shark fin that had just risen, as turgid and engorged as he himself was becoming, from the surf line). “…I thought that he was just a creepy, lecherous geezer,” Sam gasped, breath coming hard and fast, creeping slowly out of his lungs like banana slugs on the ferns of a lush jungle capped by a tribe of screaming howler monkeys.
“Yeah,” Dean said distractedly , then continued in a more distracted mutter, his mind clearly flashing back to earlier in the day (complete with a clever segue of a sea stack that turned into the manure processing plant’s main tower. Oddly, the words “Treasure Island” were written in clear white type beneath the image that burned so in his mind). “I thought so too. Dude kept hitting on you.”
Sam gasped his frustration into the blanket, howling out, “The freak was hitting on everyone! It’s not my fault this time!” Dean just yanked possessively on Sam’s burning hot member, gratified to see it turn slick and purple with his yanking.
Purple. Like Octopuses. Like the aircraft-carrier-sized octopus that was flying through the air toward them, locked in the eternal carnal dance of love with the giant shark.
Dean was NEVER gonna be able to un-see that immense prehistoric dick flying at his face. Also, it reminded him of his streetwalker days, when he’d had to earn money to secretly put Sam through Stanford because he loved his brother with a passion outshone only by the overwhelming sense of responsibility he felt for him.
Sam, feeling more practical than his brother despite teetering on the edge of a mind melting orgasm, protectively rolled himself and Dean into the surf. When they hit the water, Sam came like a large model 580 Southern Pacific locomotive; his come blasted into Dean's stomach, hot and sticky like marshmallows shot from a hairdryer, making Dean jerk back into the ocean, pulling them both just out of the landing zone of the massive sex-obsessed pile of cretaceous sea monsters.
It was so exciting, Dean came too, right exactly at the same second, without Sam or the sea monsters even laying a hand on his aching, ramrod stiff cock.
---
Bobby showed up a few moments later, as he is wont to do when exposition is needed. They all surveyed the beach looking confused as the sunset lit them from behind like they belonged in a power ballad.
Finally, Dean shook his cum-addled head. “WTF?” he asked of no one in particular.
“OMG!” Sam exclaimed from behind him, just starting to come around. He’d passed out after his amazing, life-altering orgasm.
Bobby touched his lighter to the inexplicably tinder-dry lifeguard tower the creatures had landed on and said only, “BBQ.”
The End (thank God)
* That's an actual quote from the movie up there in the subject line, I swear!
~ Fic Index ~
By
rivestra Warnings: Sam/Dean, giant prehistoric shark(Megaldon)/giant prehistoric octopus. NC-17. Written for Badfic Idol at Wincon ‘09. Don't say I didn't warn you. This will make ever-so slightly more sense if you were in the Roadhouse last night for the the screening of SyFy's Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (drinking probably helps too).
Dedicated to Wincon (yes, all of you), but totally
varkelton's fault.~*~*~*~
Dean watched the coastline through eyes slit as fine as finely shredded cheese.
Sammy watched him closely, quick stares like stabbing knives coming from the limpid pools of his eyes. Dean was pretending not to notice and then he really stopped noticing because something HUGE caught the corner of his eye and it wasn’t his little brother’s gargantuan dick.
The blanket covered that.
He words were loud , his tone incredulous, his erection suddenly waning. “Shit! Sam, I think I see what the locals are talking about out there.”
“Mmmm…?” Sam said, watching his brother’s luscious lips move, their motion blotting out the sexy echoes of his voice, blotting out the very sun above them.
Dean smacked him, and he looked up, meeting his brother’s tempestuous, storm-colored eyes. A wave crashed on the beach in front of them before Sam whispered, “Wha?” In the general direction of Dean’s ear.
Dean smacked him again (just because) and then extended his arm, thinner than Sam’s corded limbs but still well muscled, to point out toward the sea. Sammy turned his honking huge head and caught sight of the giant tentacle just as it slipped beneath the waves.
“Dean,” and now Sammy sounded like maybe he had done acid at Stanford after all, “Was that a giant tentacle?”
Dean nodded, engrossed in his relentless search of the horizon, his hand coming up to move absently on his baby brother’s engorged member, jacking Sam as relentlessly as he searched. “Yep. Just like the weird Scots/Irish/Ukrainian/whatever at the weird manure processing plant on Treasure Island said.”
“I thought…” and Sammy’s breath hitched then (Dean couldn’t tell if it was from the AWSOME hand job he was giving or if it was because of the twenty-foot-tall shark fin that had just risen, as turgid and engorged as he himself was becoming, from the surf line). “…I thought that he was just a creepy, lecherous geezer,” Sam gasped, breath coming hard and fast, creeping slowly out of his lungs like banana slugs on the ferns of a lush jungle capped by a tribe of screaming howler monkeys.
“Yeah,” Dean said distractedly , then continued in a more distracted mutter, his mind clearly flashing back to earlier in the day (complete with a clever segue of a sea stack that turned into the manure processing plant’s main tower. Oddly, the words “Treasure Island” were written in clear white type beneath the image that burned so in his mind). “I thought so too. Dude kept hitting on you.”
Sam gasped his frustration into the blanket, howling out, “The freak was hitting on everyone! It’s not my fault this time!” Dean just yanked possessively on Sam’s burning hot member, gratified to see it turn slick and purple with his yanking.
Purple. Like Octopuses. Like the aircraft-carrier-sized octopus that was flying through the air toward them, locked in the eternal carnal dance of love with the giant shark.
Dean was NEVER gonna be able to un-see that immense prehistoric dick flying at his face. Also, it reminded him of his streetwalker days, when he’d had to earn money to secretly put Sam through Stanford because he loved his brother with a passion outshone only by the overwhelming sense of responsibility he felt for him.
Sam, feeling more practical than his brother despite teetering on the edge of a mind melting orgasm, protectively rolled himself and Dean into the surf. When they hit the water, Sam came like a large model 580 Southern Pacific locomotive; his come blasted into Dean's stomach, hot and sticky like marshmallows shot from a hairdryer, making Dean jerk back into the ocean, pulling them both just out of the landing zone of the massive sex-obsessed pile of cretaceous sea monsters.
It was so exciting, Dean came too, right exactly at the same second, without Sam or the sea monsters even laying a hand on his aching, ramrod stiff cock.
---
Bobby showed up a few moments later, as he is wont to do when exposition is needed. They all surveyed the beach looking confused as the sunset lit them from behind like they belonged in a power ballad.
Finally, Dean shook his cum-addled head. “WTF?” he asked of no one in particular.
“OMG!” Sam exclaimed from behind him, just starting to come around. He’d passed out after his amazing, life-altering orgasm.
Bobby touched his lighter to the inexplicably tinder-dry lifeguard tower the creatures had landed on and said only, “BBQ.”
The End (thank God)
* That's an actual quote from the movie up there in the subject line, I swear!
~ Fic Index ~
OMG so Awesome!
::largely fictional 12-year-old flashback fades:: ::giggles madly:: ... ::giggles madly some more::
Hysterical! I have far too many favorite lines to quote them all without reposting the whole piece, but...
"The blanket was covering that." !!! ::chokes and snickers::
Dean's luscious and very distracting lips!
Wildly lustful sea-life!
::wanders off giggling softly::
Re: OMG so Awesome!
Re: OMG so Awesome!
Re: OMG so Awesome!
Dean jacking Sam off while they watch the approach of monsters! (Seriously!)
The Scotch/Hungarian/Whatever Dude. Jealous!Dean clutching Sam's dick and turning it really scary yet apparently pleasing colors. The whole theme of REALLY HUGE COCKS (Sam's, Dean's, the Octopus's?!?!?)
::giggle-sighs:: You are one seriously scary chick, you know?
Re: OMG so Awesome!
Seriously dude, you have no idea how creepy that accent shifting dude was. I think he was trying to rock a Sean Connery vibe, but he kept sounding Irish and then he'd slip into what I can only assume was supposed to be a Richard Dryfuss impression (think Jaws). He was Debbie Gibson's mentor and he hit on everyone, including the freaking shark. (No, really, I can't make this shit up.)
Did I mention that the shark jumped out of the water and ate a freaking 747?. Trufax. You HAVE to see this gem of a film.
no subject
This totally rocks! The Shark/Octopus love was EPIC!!!! And OMG marshmallow cum!!!!!! SAM/DEAN 4EVA!!!!!
no subject
's all for you baby! You know I'll write you really bad sex any day!
And it's Shark/Octopus 4EVAH, b-atch!
no subject
no subject
I had so much fun writing it and I thought I was gonna die laughing when
ouch
...ooouucchh...
(And a quick hand to the right temple, as I feel around in my desk drawer for the migraine medicine.)
Good job with the bad!fic.
I'm going to go wash my laptop with bleach, now.
Re: ouch
I'd apologize for your sudden need to bleach your laptop, except for the part where that was kinda the point ::grins bouncilly::